How to F*cking Relax - 8 Tips for Overcoming Anxiety and Overthinking

Overthinking sucks!  I get it, I was a chronic overthinker.  I know the cycle of worry that picks up speed and builds until it is all consuming. I might even be the queen of overthinking.  

I would overthink and overanalyze every possible thing.  Random memory from my past that floods me with horrible anxiety.  Thoughts of defeat towards something that hadn’t even happened yet.  Wondering how to stop overthinking… wait am I overthinking this.  You name it, I’ve thought about it all too much.  

I’ve wanted to scream, “How do I stop thinking!?”  Scratch that. I have screamed that.  Maybe not out loud but definitely in my anxious brain.  I just wanted to relax.  I wanted to stop being kept up at night and I wanted to be able to focus.  

You see the worst part about overthinking is that, not only do you fall further down the rabbit hole the more you think, but the more you think the worse you feel.  

And suddenly you're worried about the earth falling out of the sky.  It feels like it is teetering on your shoulders and you’re just not strong enough to hold the whole damn thing up anymore.  

What if I told you that you don’t have to carry that weight anymore?  You don’t have to feel like your mind imprisons you. You are free to let it all go.  

But you have to really want it.  You have to be ready to call yourself out and get really honest.  You need to choose to live now, not yesterday or tomorrow, but right now.  Nothing else exists but the moment you are in right here.  

Are you ready to choose that?

Do you want to harness the present moment even more?  Stay on track and crush your goals using this Daily Success Driver and Habit Tracker.  No more guessing what you need to do.  Just get shit done!

1. Set yourself up for success

When you are living an unhealthy lifestyle, you are even more prone to anxiety and intrusive thoughts.  By developing good habits and routines you set yourself up to feel better and have overall lower levels of stress.  Get a good night’s sleep to start the day off well, find a way to incorporate physical activity into your day, and try to eat healthy foods.  A healthy you is a happy you.  

2. Be Aware + Observation

Learn to catch yourself in moments where you are overthinking.  Acknowledging the habit of overthinking is the first real act to limiting the amount you overthink.  By learning to recognize overthinking and other anxious behaviors, you can also begin to find the causes.  Try to find the root of the problem to further your awareness.  

3. Accept it

To challenge your anxious mind, when you feel yourself overthinking, tell yourself that you cannot change the past and that worrying about the future will not get you there any faster.  Allow yourself to accept that some things are not in your control.  If you can’t change it, don’t worry about it.  This can be tough as you mind wants to worry but you have to remind yourself that things are not always in your control.  

4. Pull yourself out

This one is going to take some strength.  Once you are aware that you are overthinking, you have to bring yourself out of your head.  Accept that your mind wants to wander and then bring it back and tune into the present moment.  

5. Take Action

There’s no point worrying about something that you can’t control.  If you can change the situation or there’s something to fix or do, then do that.  Quell the worry by dealing with the problem.  

6. Find Distractions

When you start feeling anxious, the easiest way to immediately take action is to find something different to think about and focus on.  Any activity that works to get you out of your head is helpful.  

7. Schedule “Worry Time”

Give yourself time to overthink and worry as much as you want.  When “worry time” is over though, so is your overthinking.  

Feeling some overthinking come up?  Sorry, can you hold? Book yourself an appointment to let your brain go wild with thoughts.  Instead of engaging with your mind, put it off for a later date.  Not only does this stop you from overthinking in the moment but by the time you get to “later” you might have no need to overthink.  

8. Learn Forgiveness

Angry is a stew-y emotion.  It likes to hang out for too long and can build up easily if you let yourself overthink it.  Instead of finding all the reasons to be upset, learn to forgive.  This includes yourself.  Forgiveness helps you to let go of the emotions you might have towards a situation or person.  

9. Put it into perspective

Rationalize it!  In your head, explain to yourself all the reasons you have not to worry about whatever is bothering you.  Instead of worrying about what you did wrong or what might go wrong, realize that you’re probably worrying for no reason.  If it hasn’t happened yet then there’s no point putting yourself through it beforehand.  If it has already happened, know that nobody else is thinking about what you said or did, they are way more worried about themselves.  

10. Affirmations

This is a variation of distracting yourself where, when you feel intrusive thoughts you repeat a mantra or affirmations to counter your other thoughts.  Affirmations for anxiety or a line you can repeat to yourself forces your mind to break up your pattern of thinking.  Once you have recognized your overthinking, let it go and begin to repeat your affirmations.  Keep doing so until the anxious thoughts pass.

11. Embrace the present moment

This is a mindset shift.  You have to actively choose to not let yourself exist in anything but right now.  Know that thinking too much is not good for you and instead, try to embrace the present moment.  

When you can relax your over active mind and stop overthinking, you can begin to manage stress and anxiety better.  By pulling yourself out and consistently coming back to the present moment, you develop a mindset that keeps overthinking away.  Beating overthinking is really hard because like any pattern you have, it’s comfortable and easy to slip back into. Some days, all you might need is to push off your anxious thoughts and others you might try everything on this list.  Keep coming back to a place of observation and awareness and try to move back into the present moment.

How to Beat your Bad Habits and be Happy - 7 Steps to Kill Bad Habits

Bad habits are controlling, hard to manage and can seem impossible to get rid of.  Breaking a bad habit is a process and can take patience.  The biggest part is that you are able to be aware of your habit and form processes to curb it.  Beating your bad habits can be a lot of work but you are left happier and healthier when you do.  

Breaking the habit or habits that control your life can put you on the path to be your best self.  Changing your habits and overcoming the fear of change helps you to have a happy life and a positive attitude.

I am a chronic phone user.  I love to scroll through the endless sea of posts and stories.  Problem is, it’s endless.  I can scroll through post after post and never realize just how consumed I can get.  

I’m not going to share how long each day I’m on my phone because it is a little excessive and my “Daily Screen Time” already shames me enough.  

I don’t want to keep up this pattern though, my phone is not a way of life.  I want to stop reaching for my phone whenever I have a hand free. By trying to catch myself during my scroll, I can start to break the habit.  Acknowledging I have an issue and catching myself in the act, help to begin to change my habits.  Instead of reaching for my phone, I try to grab a book instead. When my hands itch for the fix on my feed, I find something else to do with my hands. Crocheting, drawing, or cleaning are quick ways for me to distract myself.  

I’m not over my scrolling addiction and I can still find comfort in my old ways but I have to keep coming back to the real world.  Pulling myself out of the trace that bad habits bring can be really tough and change will not happen overnight but with repetition and replacement with good habits is helping to break my bad habit cycle.  

You are a wannabe go-getter and you want to live your most fulfilled life but you don’t know where to start? When you subscribe to my newsletter you get access to my Daily Success Driver and Habit Tracker! Both of these work together help you choose the right kind of habits and stick to them!

Tips for success

These really don’t fit into my 7 step bad habit breaking system but I think they are important to note, as they may help you get an extra edge over your bad habits.

Buddy System - This works really well when you need help to keep yourself accountable.  By finding someone who is trying to quit the same bad habit you are, you can work together to keep each other on track.  Having someone who is going through the same thing you are, gives you someone to relate to and can make you more likely to stay on track.

Talk about it - Maybe you don’t have anyone who can be your partner in breaking your bad habits but you can use social pressure to keep you accountable.  By talking about and telling your friends, family, or coworkers about your goal, you seeming leave yourself with no option but to succeed.  

Reward Yourself - When you find yourself meeting your goals, make a point to acknowledge it.  Make reaching your goals something exciting and something you look forward to.  

Step 1 - Acknowledge your Habit

Chances are if you are reading this then you already know what your bad habit is(or habits are).  Acknowledging your bad habit is a little more than knowing what your habit is.  Acknowledging your bad habit is also about accepting that your bad habit does not serve you.  You have to believe that your bad habit is worth getting rid of.  

Step 2 - Determine Causes

To fully understand your bad habit you have to find the trigger or cause of it.  Most commonly stress and boredom are the cause of bad habits.  You can try to narrow it down even farther to help with the next step.

When you get stressed at work you might feel like lighting up a cigarette or you might start drinking every weekend.  Maybe when you’re bored you pick up your phone.  What drives you to your bad habit?

Step 3 - Change your Environment

When you have triggers all around you it can be hard to make sure you don’t slip back into your bad habit.  By removing any potential triggers you can limit the frequency that you will have to fight your mind not to resort to the bad habit.

If you are trying to quit sugar, you should get rid you the snack foods in your pantry and make sure not to buy any more.  If your bad habit is using your cellphone too much, you could try leaving your phone in another room or even set a time in your household that you make cell phone free.  

Step 4 - Set Goals

You don’t have to eliminate your bad habits cold turkey.  Instead, work on setting reasonable goals for yourself to meet.  Use goals as daily motivation to keep your bad habits at bay.

If you want to quit smoking, try to limit the number of cigarettes you have.  Start by having one less than normal, then two and so on until you reach one cigarette per day.  Try to stop entirely for one day then two. Quitting your bad habits does not have to happen all at once; start small and work your way up.

Step 5 - Create Healthy Habits

When you can rely on good habits instead of your past bad ones, you can channel your energy into something healthy.  Instead of smoking when you get stressed, try meditating or add daily physical activity into your routine.  Take the energy you once had for your bad habit and use it for something to benefit you.

Making good habits is also a process but it can be the turning point for leaving your bad habits behind.  Develop happy habits and become happy yourself.  

Step 6 - Learn Awareness

If you find yourself feeling stressed or reaching for the bad habit, take a moment to acknowledge it.  Check in with yourself.  Are you feeling any certain way? Bored? Stressed?

If you can catch yourself before you begin to engage with your bad habit you can reroute and pick a healthier way to deal with how your feeling.

You can also use this strategy to catch yourself during the act as well.  Your response may be more of, what can I do right now to stop myself from continuing my bad habit?  How can I pull myself out of the act that I'm partaking in?

Step 7 - Keep Showing Up

Breaking a habit is hard and there is a good chance that will power alone will not be enough to keep you from your bad habit.  Learn to accept when you relapse but also learn to get back up.  You have to actively want to break your bad habit and when you can keep coming back to good habits and healthy ways of dealing with stress, you increase your ability to not let your old ways control you.  

Breaking bad habits is hard because they are something that you have become comfortable with.  The key to successfully freeing yourself from them is to put in the effort and not be afraid of change.  When you are willing to work for the things you want, you will see results. You already know what your bad habits are, now it’s up to you to do the work and free yourself from them.

Get your bad habits off your chest by leaving them in a comment!  Let’s work on this together!

How to Release Stress with this Self Massage for your Neck

A massage sounds like a nice idea in essence but unfortunately, the cost and time can make them hard to access.  Self massages are an easy way to achieve the benefits of a massage without having to spend any money or go anywhere.  Self massages can be a targeted way to reduce stress and relieve tension.

When you give yourself a massage you can tailor your technique to what you are feeling in that specific moment.  If you come across any spots that are tighter than the rest, take a few extra moments to massage and work the area.  Take your time and feel free to follow the steps as you read them. This massage should be 6-8 minutes but could made to be shorter or longer depending on your needs.  

If you’re looking for more ways to have a fulfilled life then this is for you! When you subscribe to my newsletter you get access to my Daily Success Driver and Habit Tracker! Both of these work together help you choose the right kind of habits and stick to them!

Nobody has time to visit a massage parlor and although this is technically a “self massage,” you can absolutely recruit your significant other or someone else to help you.  Or if you are a significant other, you could give this massage.

My neck and shoulders are almost always carrying stress.  Which can be exhausting. When stress is really getting to me I can feel it creeping into my body and making itself home.  Unpleasant to say the least. A large part of this is controlling how I deal with stress but how do I deal with it once it's already there?

Pushing it out.  For some extra stress relieving properties, I imagine myself pulling and pushing all the built up stress out.  With every drag of my fingers, I feel the tension beginning to leave.

Not only do I use self massages for self care but they are also great for when I’m feeling overwhelmed.  I get a chance to tune into my body to find and relieve stress. As well I can dial up the intensity for a more deep massage, to really get the stress out.  

By combining awareness with this massage you can start to get to the root of your stress and begin to protect your physical body from it.  Stress is as much about the physical sensations you deal with as the emotional ones.

Massages can be helpful in reducing stress and can have relaxing aspects.  Massage oil or cream can be used to amplify these properties. As well neck massages can help to reduce headache pain, high blood pressure, and improve brain function by increasing circulation.  By massaging your neck regularly you may also see improvements in your posture, flexibility, and can reduce the chance of pulling a muscle. By giving yourself a massage you are able to get in on these benefits and start managing your stress.  

Start by reaching both your hands to the base of your neck.  Use your whole hand to massage or palm the muscles there. Move down on to your upper shoulder/back and keep palming your muscles.  You should feel your muscles begin warming. Keeping with the same action, move upwards on your neck, about to the base of your skull.  Do this a couple more times until the whole area of your upper back and neck feel warm.

Move your hands farther down your back, next to your spine.  With an upwards motion push with a little more pressure on your traps.  Imagine yourself pulling the tension out as you repeat this movement 3 or 4 more times.  

Palm over your entire neck area again, keeping heat there.  Start massaging in a circular motion the top of your neck and continue to the base of your neck.  Then pull your fingers away from your spine. Keep with the circular motions if that feels good for 7-10 more repetitions or while moving your fingers down and away from your spine apply mild pressure.  Some mild discomfort may be noticed. You can keep palming the area if pushing is too painful. Make sure never to do anything painful or too uncomfortable. As well it is important to not push directly on your spine with too much pressure as you may cause unintended injury.  

Move again farther down your neck and begin to pull your fingers over the muscles at the tops of your shoulder blades.  Find a rhythm and begin to apply a little more pressure. Keep massaging your muscles out and away from your spine. Do this for 7-10 repetitions.  You can vary the speed or alternate the side you are doing this on.

Lightly tip your head to one side, make sure to find a stable point or support your head.  With your head tipped, again begin to make circles down the extended side of your neck and a short ways down.  Go for 5-7 repetitions. Repeat the same on the other side of your neck.

From a tipped point slowly roll your head forwards, to the side, and then backward until you’re in the starting point again.  Do this on each side 2-3 times.

Starting at the top of your neck, using your preferred method gently massage down your neck a few more times before returning to palming your neck.  Continue gently squeezing and palming up and down your neck, bring that heat once more.

Begin to focus in on where it feels tight.  This may be at the base of your skull, behind your ears, between your shoulder blade or elsewhere.  Pay extra attention here. Begin to massage the tight area with your fingers or thumbs. Make circles if that is what feels good or just simply push with your fingers.  

Give yourself one or two more large palming squeezes before letting go.  

Feeling relaxed yet?

After pushing all the stress out of your body, imagine yourself as a blank slate.  Allow yourself to release any extra stress you might be feeling. Know that keeping stress inside your muscles does not serve you and you are free to let it go.

Self massages are a nice way to help your relieve tension and relax.  You can give yourself a light massage anytime without needing to go anywhere or spend anything.  Massages can help to alleviate a number of ailments and get you on the path to being your best and most relaxed self.

Stop Dieting and Start Mindful Eating - A Guide to Eating with Intention

When you practice mindful eating and learn to eat with intention, you can heal your relationship with food and slow down to really enjoy your meals.  Mindful eating is a powerful practice that can transform the way you look at food.

The act of being mindful helps to bring your awareness into play.  Mindful eating can be incorporating all or only some of the ideas below. Take for example…

I used to rush to get my food down, eat all the less exciting parts like veggies first, then scarf down all the carbs and protein.  All this left me with was an overly full stomach and no more food. I used to justify this behavior in that I’m just making sure to eat my food before it gets cold.  

What a silly reason to make myself uncomfortable.  

Eating, for me, used to all about getting the food on my plate, in me.  I used to believe that eating was such an inconvenience and that if I could just take a pill to get all my nutrients I would.   Even if I had spent the time to make sure that the spices were just right or after carefully peeling my veggies.

But I wasn’t ready to commit to eating my meals in silence.  So mindful eating didn’t feel like it was in the books for me.  Meditating while eating my food… no thanks!

Mindful eating is not meditating though.  Mindful eating is an all encompassment of the act of using awareness to pay attention to the ingredients, the preparation, and the impact your meals have.  That part I can get behind. I already pay attention to the ingredients in my food, I try to be aware of the sugar I’m consuming, and I follow a vegan diet.  So paying more attention to my food shouldn’t be hard, right?

So I tried mindful eating a few times and you know what I found?

Paying attention works but only if you can keep coming back to it.  It’s not sustainable to try to eat every meal in silence or even chew every bite 40 times.  

But… mindful eating works.  I didn’t lose any weight and I never had any wild epiphanies about the way I eat.  Instead, I still eat in front of the TV or with my phone in hand but sometimes I catch myself.  I notice that I am starting to eat too fast so I take a couple of bites to count the number of times I need to chew my food.  I stop myself at the grocery store from picking up food that I know contributes to environmental or health issues. I take time to smell all my food while it cooks.  

I let cooking and consuming food be more than just the act of getting nutrients.  I pay attention to the food I’m eating and enjoy eating.

If you’re looking for more ways to have a fulfilled life then this is for you! When you subscribe to my newsletter you get access to my Daily Success Driver and Habit Tracker! Both of these work together help you choose the right kind of habits and stick to them!

What is Mindful Eating

Mindful eating is the act of eating without distractions and slowing down to enjoy your food.  Mindful eating is a practice similar to mindfulness meditation in that you are taking time to observe an experience.  While encompassing yourself and the food that you are eating, mindful eating can actually include what impact your food has in the world.  Like where the ingredients came from, how the ingredients got to you, or who grew the food. While mindful eating can be rather complex and have many different layers, learning how to apply it for every meal doesn’t have to be.

Instead, it can be paying attention to how the food tastes, the textures, and the way it smells.  Paying attention to how you feel along the way is also important. Your body and mind connect through food when practicing mindful eating.  

How to

Mindful eating can actually start when you are preparing and cooking food.  You should pay attention to how everything feels as you are cutting and preparing your ingredients.  Does anything have an immediate smell?

What about once you start cooking it?  What do you smell?

Once you have finished cooking your meal and you are ready to eat, portion yourself off a smaller portion than you would normally have.  Before you sit down, make sure that there are no immediate distractions. Along with not sitting in front of the television, you should also ditch your phone.  

Take a moment or two before digging in to express gratitude for your meal, the attention it took to prepare it, and the journey that the food took before it got to you.  

Take your first bite and chew thoroughly.  Chewing your food 30-40 times would be best.  While chewing take time to note any flavors and textures that you notice.  Is it sweet? Is it spicy? Is it crunchy or soft?

Take your time to finish the remainder of your food, all the while noting what aspects you come across.  

If you are eating with others it might seem a little weird to sit in complete silence while you eat, in this case, dedicate a few minutes or a few bites to a more aware eating approach before talking with your table mates.  Remember to check in with yourself periodically, in this case, to not get too sucked into your old eating habits.

As you begin to near the end of your meal, it is important to check in with yourself and your body.  How did the food make you feel? Was it food that made you happy? Why or why not? How does the food make you feel physically?  Do you feel energized? Was it food that made your body happy but not your mind? Or vice versa? Are you satisfied or looking for more?  

Mindful eating does not have to be a complex project to complete for every meal.  It can be adopted into your normal food practices to help you strengthen your relationship to food.  

By practicing the whole act of mindful eating you can learn through awareness where your relationship with food suffers.  From this, you can then adopt small pieces of mindful eating into your everyday practice.

By taking the time to acknowledge where your relationship with food is you can begin to heal it.  If you find yourself rushing through meals, mindful eating can teach you to make healthier food choices and make eating more of a ritual than a chore.  

You have the ability to rework your relationship with food by paying more attention to the food you eat, where it comes from, and how it makes you feel.  Your mind is your most powerful tool in making the right choices for your body and the world. Mindful eating gives you the awareness needed to see the changes you need to make.  

When you take time to slow down and connect with yourself and your food, you can create a connection that fosters a healthy relationship.  Mindful eating can transform how you look at and enjoy your food. When you eat with intention you not only feel better but are more aware and more likely to make good food choices.  

15 Empowering Self Love Affirmations

Self love is important to your overall happiness and affirmations can be a helpful way to take some time for you.  These affirmations are specifically designed for self love and care. Take a few minutes to read these over to yourself out loud or in your head.  You can read through them as many times as you need, or as often as you need. Read each line with intention and allow yourself to believe the words as you say them.  

Benefits to Affirmations

Affirmations work to encourage positive thoughts and feelings.  When you say positive things to and about yourself you invite more positive energy around you.  Using affirmations is just one way to reframe your mindset and make you happier.

Whenever you think, say, or do something you are creating a form of an affirmation.  Using these affirmations you can create and affirm a feeling of self love. By coming back to these affirmations daily or whenever you need a dose of positive feelings you can help to combat negative thoughts and cultivate a happy relationship with yourself.

If you’re looking for more ways to have a fulfilled life then this is for you! When you subscribe to my newsletter you get access to my Daily Success Driver and Habit Tracker! Both of these work together help you choose the right kind of habits and stick to them!

I am whole.

I am worthy.

I am secure.

I am all that I need to be.

I deserve love and care.

I deserve to feel happy.

I am open to receive love.

My body is a place of love and I treat it as such.

My body is my home and I’m comfortable.

I treat myself with respect.

I can accomplish great challenges.

I am something to be proud of.

I am going to be okay.

I am enough.

I hope you’re feeling refreshed and a little more positive.  Feel free to save these affirmations and come back to them when you’re needing a little more self love.

Using affirmations can be a hugely positive factor for change.  Practicing self love and self care helps to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself.  Affirmations reaffirm these feelings and help to connect your mind and body.

Why You'll Never be Happy - 10 Things to Change your Attitude

It seems like the whole world has learned to put on a happy face on for the perfect Instagram photo, but how many actually are happy?

Happiness can sometimes seem hard to achieve but once you find what is making you unhappy you can act to change it.

What’s Holding You Back

When you’re constantly worrying about something that has happened or has yet to happen, your mind is not in the current moment.  Instead, your mind has drifted off in the sea of worry and it can’t swim back.

You wait for the weekend only to lazily sit around worrying about the week ahead.  What problems am I going to have to deal with? Is Linda going to be a bitch again?  I’m so tired out from the last week, do I have to do it again? I hope my mom’s not going to call.  I have to take my car in and I forgot, I also have to get groceries too. And pay rent. And go to the bank. And so on.  

Or maybe you’re a dreamer, I’ll be happy when…

I’ll be happy when I get a better job. I’ll be happy when I make more money.  I’ll be happy when it is no longer winter. I’ll be happy when…

Did I lose you yet?  I bet you spend a lot of time in your head. It’s really easy to get caught up in thinking and thinking too much.   When you live too much in your head, it is really hard to come back and enjoy the present moment. So how are you supposed to be happy?

If you’re looking for more ways to have a fulfilled life then this is for you! When you subscribe to my newsletter you get access to my Daily Success Driver and Habit Tracker! Both of these work together help you choose the right kind of habits and stick to them!

Tips for a Happy Life

1. Start a Grounding Practice

Grounding practices help to bring you back to the present moment and connect with the world in a meaningful way.  Practices you could try might include meditation, 5-4-3-2-1 technique, or other mindfulness activities. Grounding can help to make you feel centered and reduce your stress.  

2. Define your Values

Decide what you believe makes a good person.  Focus on traits that are something you can adopt and commit to.  Think in terms of kindness, compassion, confidence, etc.

Who do you want to be?  Or who do you want to be remembered as?  What traits does someone need to have to be who you want to be?  Do you want to be smart? Do you want to be a risk taker? Do you want to give back?

3. Move your Body

When you get your heart rate up, endorphins are released in your brain.  These endorphins help to combat stress and make you feel happier. Not only is exercise good for your body but your mind as well.  Taking even 10 minutes to go for a walk or stretch your body can be hugely impactful to your mood.

4. Sleep Enough

Sleep is a major part in being a functioning human being and when you don't get enough you are almost inviting stress and discomfort.  When you get a good night’s rest you wake up feeling refreshed and a lot more ready to tackle challenges.

5. Get Outside

Fresh air can do wonders for your mood.  Along with reducing cortisol, spending a short amount of your day outside can also help to improve anxiety and depression.  Even taking a walk through your city’s park can help to improve creativity and lower blood pressure.

6. Make Strong Connections

Having a support system or people who will lift you up, can help to reduce stress and give you better coping skills.  Having friends and family that you can turn to when the going gets tough or when you just need a healthy distraction is hugely beneficial to your happiness and success.  

7. Go after your Goals

When you are actively working towards a goal or outcome you can feel great satisfaction for accomplishments.  When you are working towards a goal, it is important not to get too caught up in the big picture but instead enjoy the small victories.  

8. Have New Experiences

Trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone, not only inspires growth but can also give you a break from your daily routine.  Even though trying new things can be intimidating they can also be rewarding. You can meet new people, find new talents, and grow your happiness.  Being stagnant doesn’t promote feeling good so challenge yourself and expand your comfort zone.

9. Practice Self Care

Life’s hard when you aren’t taking care of yourself.  You might be surprised how much better you feel after taking some time to take care of you.  Sit down with a book, maybe even a hot drink, and start filling your cup because you need it!

10. Learn Gratitude

The single easiest thing to help make you happy is gratitude.  When you express gratitude for things in your life, you start to shift and look for more things to be happy about.  Getting grateful, whether by yourself in your head, in a journal, or to the people around you, will create positive change to your mindset and help you refocus on the things that are important to you.  

Practicing gratitude, even for the smallest of things, can recenter your life and drive you to find the positive in every situation.  

Getting happy is not a 10 step process and there are no guidelines that will work for everyone but these tips can act as an inspiration to get out there and start trying things to find what works for you.  All of these tips can help to get you out of your negative thought patterns and back into the present moment. Finding happiness is a journey and I hope to provide you with the tools you need to get there!

What makes you happy? Have you tried any of these tips before?

How to Feel Better through Forgiveness - 3 Ways Forgiveness Heals

To forgive is to free yourself from anger and hurt.  Without forgiveness, it is too easy to get caught up and stuck in negative emotions.  By allowing yourself to acknowledge and release pain, you give yourself the gift of a blank slate.  When we can extend that feeling to others, we can help to heal the other person and our relationship with them.  Forgiveness can open up many opportunities, you just have to be ready to let go.

Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a fundamental piece of learning to let go and of growth.  When you dwell on the past, it can be nearly impossible to feel at peace.   By acknowledging and then releasing negative emotions, in the form of apologies, you can help to create an environment where past mistakes don’t control the narrative.  

When you offer forgiveness to yourself and others you are clearing an emotional block.  By having a space free of emotional blocks, you can be more open to experiences and your relationships can flourish.  It can feel hard to allow yourself to forgive but your world becomes happier when you do.

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Healing for Others

Forgiving others can have large impact on others and your relationship with them.  Sometimes when you are holding onto a lot of resentment for someone, you can find it hard to be around them. They probably can tell that there’s some kinds of issue.  Maybe they have even tried apologizing. You don’t need to go around forgiving everyone for everything that they have ever done that affected you but you can start to forgive the small things in private.  Forgiveness doesn’t always need to come in the form of an apology, sometimes is can be just the acknowledgement and act of letting something go.

When you become a forgiving person people feel more comfortable around you and your relationships can be strengthened.  People might feel like you’re easier to be around or even that you make them excited to see you. When you stop holding the past against someone, you can begin to look past their mistakes and shortcomings.  

Healing for Yourself

When you allow yourself to let go of negative feelings and guilt you can become infinitely more happy.  Forgiving yourself can be hard but it can be harder to be miserable. By holding onto feeling and memories that cause you to feel bad, you encourage those feelings to stick around.  By acknowledging and accepting negative thoughts and feelings you can begin to understand and free yourself from them.

When you face a difficult situation accepting that you can and will make mistakes can leave you open to more growth.  Having the confidence to make a decision, whether right or wrong can be easier when you are not held back by the “bad” choices of the past.  Learn to see every situation as neither positive or negative, instead look for how every situation can be a learning experience. Look for opportunities to grow and be aware that they can be presented in many different ways.  

Your negative feeling towards others can especially have an effect on your well being.  It can be all to easy to feel angry or upset with others when you perceive them to have made a mistake.  When you let that anger fester and build it starts to seep into you and you start to feel consumed. By separating yourself from others and not getting caught up in something that they have done or done to you, you can become untouchable and not phased.  

By acting with an intention of forgiveness, you are able to shape your relationships and in turn the world around you.  Forgiveness gives you freedom and the ability to live in the moment. When used from a place of love and care, you can heal your relationship with yourself. Forgiveness opens your heart to the act of being free; free from hurt, negative emotions, and the past.  

Release yourself from the negative emotions and patterns by allowing yourself to forgive.

Healing Yourself with Forgiveness - 5 Tips You Need to Know

To feel free of worry and upset you must learn how to offer yourself forgiveness.  Learning forgiveness can feel confusing, even more so when you don’t feel able to let go.  The power of forgiveness can be huge in releasing worries and help you to find inner calm. Live more in the moment with these 5 tips for forgiveness.

Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an often overlooked tool for healing.  When you normally think forgiveness you probably don’t think about offering it to yourself.  Surprisingly enough you and the most important person in your own life and to spend time on your shortcomings would be a waste of your time.  When you allow yourself to let go of your past mistakes, you can really start getting to a healthy place with yourself.

Forgiveness is the first step to growth, as you cannot expect to become a better person while still dwelling on your past.  Learning to let go can help you get the most out of the relationship you have with yourself.

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1. Learn to forgive others

Sometimes it's hard to imagine being nice to ourselves when we feel unworthy of forgiveness.  When we practice forgiving others it is kind of like training a muscle, and it can become easier to imagine a world where we don’t carry guilt.  

Practicing forgiveness is something you can do in many ways.  You can send a message, meet face to face, or even just in your own mind.  Forgiveness can be as much about you as it is about others.

2. Focus on the small stuff

Instead of jumping to your worst memory or thought, try looking for a small mistake you may have made instead.  It can be a lot easier to learn forgiveness when you aren’t trying to heal a major source of hurt. Pick something that you feel that you can easily separate from yourself and let it go.

Apologize to yourself for not washing the dishes or forgetting to pick up groceries.  Starting with something small can help open the gate for deeper emotional healing.

3. Be aware

A major part in forgiving yourself is the awareness that you are feeling guilty or stuck in a negative thought loop.  When you feel yourself getting sucked into a moment that is not the present one, take a second to reconnect by checking in with yourself.  This could be done in a multitude of ways; body scan, focus on your breath, mindful meditation, etc.

By breaking the vortex that your negative thoughts can become you are breaking a pattern of thinking.  Awareness is the first step to finding your source of hurt.

4. Let go

Once you are aware of what is causing you to hurt, it’s time to free yourself from it.  Holding onto negative emotions will not help you get happy. Let yourself feel any emotions that come up but also be ready to let them go when they no longer serve you.

If just letting an emotion go seems difficult you can try this shower meditation.  Using visualization you can learn to let your emotions wash away.

5. Be grateful

Sometimes even after letting go of a mistake, it can still seem to hang around.  When you take a moment to reframe the memory you can change the feeling around it.  Learn to look for the things you learned from the experience. Becoming grateful for what an experience has given you is the ultimate goal in learning to forgive yourself.  

What do you need to do to get it right next time? What lesson has this experience taught you? How can you improve despite maybe screwing up?

Learn to stop feeling bad about your choices and instead start looking for the good.  

When you break the cycle of anger and negativity towards yourself, you can really begin to start healing.  Offering yourself forgiveness allows you to find peace with yourself and in that ultimately, happiness. The power of forgiveness allows you to live in the moment and can reframe negative experiences.

Free yourself from worries and stress by learning to forgive yourself.  

Getting Motivated is Hard, Try this Instead

It’s no doubt that motivation can be a big driving force for positive change.  When motivation is high, getting stuff done doesn’t seem so hard. Your goals seem achievable and you feel like your making real progress.  You ride the high wave of productivity until…

It just stops.  You don’t feel motivated and everything that was once so much easier becomes a struggle.  You forget to take your vitamins, your stay in bed too late to workout before your job, and you just overall feel drained.  

So where does your motivation go? And most importantly how do you get it back?

Why Motivation isn't Real

When you're feeling the spike of energy that motivation creates, it's almost all-consuming.  You feel like nothing can stop you from reaching your goals. Then you wake up one morning and instead of jumping out of bed to start your day, you pause.  In your head, you start to justify not getting to the things you had once been really motivated to do.

All the energy you once had to get shit done is just gone now.  

This happens all the time.  You probably cannot even begin to imagine how many new years resolutions go unresolved or just how many people will never lose those last 5-10 pounds.

Motivation is weird and tricky because, as the definition implies...

Motivation - The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

It’s all up to you and how your feeling in a specific moment.  Let’s say you just finished an Instagram binge and all you can think about is how you want to get fit like the photos you saw.  Maybe you’re feeling really motivated and ready to crush your workout. But maybe you’re not, instead, you feel self-loathing and beat yourself up about not sticking to your workout routine.  

There’s a number of different factors that play into your motivation, the biggest one being your mindset.  Motivation has less to do with outside factors and more to do with you.

The following tips you can use to help bring more motivation or power on when you can’t seem to get motivated.

1. Define your Why

Why do you NEED to accomplish your goals?  Why do you feel drawn to them? What makes stopping not worth it?  What happens if you stop making progress? Will you still be satisfied if you don’t continue?

Writing down your answers are going to force you to further analyze your drive behind your goals.  These questions might not light the fire under your ass but they can help you see the value in pushing forwards.  When you can look at your goal and know that it is a need, it will be a lot harder to ignore.

2. Use Awareness/Mindfulness

By checking in with your emotions you can work to release any tensions you have towards your work or lack of.  Bring awareness to the action and steps you must take to achieve your goal. You can do this through meditation or the simple act of being aware.  

How do you feel when you’re making progress?  How do you feel when you’re not? Are you trying to attain your goal at the sacrifice of something else?  Are you ready to let go of that?

Are you feeling motivated and ready to get shit done yet?  Are you looking for an easy way to track your successes? Habit trackers are perfect for that.  By signing up to join my email list you get access to my personal habit tracker. It can help to keep you motivated and on track!  It’s printer friendly and customizable to fit your specific goals!

3. Daily Check-Ins

Using a habit tracker or some form of accountability tracker will allow you to see your day to day progress.  By making a habit of working towards your goals every day, you are more likely to stick with it.

Journaling can also be a great way to make sure you stay accountable and mindful of your progress.  This way you can not only record when you work on your goal but also the successes and failures you encounter along the way.  Having a way or multiple ways to record your progress can bring extra awareness and help to make you accountable.

4. Learn about your Goal

In your free time(or maybe when you’re supposed to be working on your goals.  Are you procrastinating right now?) research or learn about what you want to achieve.  Look at people who are living the life you want to, learn about different tools that you can use to assist you, and read news or articles pertaining to your area of interest.

By discovering information about your goals you can spark new interest in them.  

5. Break it Down

Looking at the big picture is always intimidating and can make your goals seem impossibly far away.  By working towards mini goals you can feel a lot more accomplished and are able to see yourself making progress towards the ultimate goal.  

Instead of trying to tackle everything all at once, take a moment to break your big goal into a number of small ones.  That way you don’t try to take on more than you can while still making visible progress.

Although motivation can definitely be powerful in achieving your goals, it never sticks around long enough.  By experimenting with different ways to view your goals you can teach yourself to harness motivation but also begin to master discipline.  Being motivated is up to you.

It’s time to start crushing your goals. Comment what you’re working towards!

How to Say Goodbye to your Sweet Tooth and All Things Sugar

It would be pretty hard to argue that sweets are not most people’s favorite food or that the cookies going missing was not your fault.  

Your sweet indulgence might just not be a late night treat but it also might be why you can’t wake up in the morning.  For most of us we wouldn’t think twice about the white granules we dump graciously into our coffee but its sugary sweetness hides a dark secret.  

Sugar is known to cause tooth decay and poor gum health, along with increasing the risk of obesity and heart disease.  Sugar can also speed up the aging process and ruin your skin. Along with worsening eczema and promoting acne, gut flora is also damaged when consuming sugar.  Sugar can cause a whole lot of problems and when left unchecked can really screw up your life.

The average American consumes 152 pounds of sugar is one year.  That would be around 6 cups per week, whereas the daily recommended amount is 13.3 teaspoons daily.  

Sugar is sweet but its effects are definitely not.  Read on to find out 8 ways you can work to reduce your sugar consumption.

1. Eat Regularly

When you haven’t eaten enough food, it’s really easy to jump on the first snack you see.  By eating enough and having healthy snacks, you are less likely to experience sugar cravings.  

2. Drink Enough Water

Staying hydrated helps to reduce food cravings because our brains frequently mistake thirst for hunger.  As well having water with you at all times can prevent you from grabbing a pop or sugar-filled drink when you become thirsty.  

3. Eat Fresh Produce

With fresh produce, you will never need to read a nutritional label as this is the food’s simplest form.  Fresh fruit and vegetables will not only fill you up but are also great for ensuring you get all the important nutrients and vitamins without adding any extra sugar.

4. Read Labels

The single best way to bring awareness to what your eating is to read the nutrition label.  This helps to give you a good picture of the nutrients that you get from the food, as well as any drawbacks it might have.

Whereas the nutritional label can have a 20% error margin, the ingredients list is typically more accurate for knowing exactly what is in a food.  It can be a healthy practice to look at both for a better understanding of what you’re buying.

5. Get Enough Sleep

When you’re tired you are more likely to go for an easy snack that contains sugar to give you an energy boost.  Sleeping enough also leads to a healthier life and can help you have the mental clarity you need to make good food choices.  

6. Avoid Low/Non-Fat Foods

Many foods that are marketed as low/non-fat are not as healthy as you would like to think.  To make a snack with no fat still taste good, the fat is replaced with a sweetener, typically sugar.  Make sure to check the food labels of all foods even if they appear to be healthy.

7. Avoid High Sugar Foods

Typical desserts and treats almost always have a lot of sugar in them.  The same goes for pop and other sweet drinks. By avoiding your typical soda at lunchtime you can save on a huge amount of sugar.

8. Add Spices

Adding spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, or allspice can help to make food taste sweeter.  By sprinkling in a little bit, you can change the taste of your food and make it seemingly sweet.  Almond or vanilla extract can also be used to up the flavor without compromising the healthiness.

Protein powders are also useful in this sense.  Protein powder can be purchased in a variety of flavors and kinds, most of which bring a sugar-free sweetness.  

There are plenty of ways in which you can reduce your sugar intake and aim your life in a healthier direction.

Sometimes it’s hard to stay on track with our healthy habits.  That's why I created a habit tracker to help you keep on top of your goals.  With a printer friendly layout and minimalist design, you can easily record your progress.  When you sign up to my email list you not only get access to this freebie but all future updates as well!

Breaking your sugar addiction can be tough and added sugar can feel almost impossible to avoid but by changing your habits around food, you can take back control over your health.  It’s time to kick sugar to the curb and curb your cravings!

Warm Up with these 8 Winter Inspired Self Care Ideas

As exciting as the lights and holiday flavored beverages are, the winter season can bring a lot of unwanted stress.  It is easy to become overworked and tired with the seemingly never-ending bustle to fit everything in. These 8 activities are not only great for self care but they are also wintery and sure to get you in the holiday spirit!

Stop worrying about the holidays and start taking care of yourself!

1. Take a winter walk

Getting outside and into the fresh air can help to calm and relax you.  Taking a walk is a nice way to enjoy the winter season. If you have a dog, going for a walk can be a lot more rewarding of an experience.  

Whether you go for a walk around the block or on winter hiking trails, getting outside is one of the easiest ways to take care of yourself in the winter season.  Just make sure to dress appropriately for the weather!

2. Play in the snow

Although this one might sound a little silly, having a snowball fight with friends, making a snowman, or doing snow angels, can be a fun way to recharge over the holidays.  Just because it is cold and snowy doesn’t mean that you have to stay inside. Instead, try to embrace some things that this kind of weather brings.

3. Try a winter sport

There are loads of winter sports that are not only good for your health but also good for your well being.  Snowmobiling or snowboarding could be fun if you are looking for a high energy fast-paced sport. On the other hand, there are also winter sports like cross-country skiing, or sledding for a more relaxed time.

Other winter sports that you might find interesting could be, skating, snowshoeing, or even curling!

4. Set up holiday decorations

Christmas lights and decorations can be a fun way to get into the holiday spirit.  You can experiment with different kinds of decor or you could even make your own. Regardless, hanging lights and ornaments can be a relaxing activity that you can do by yourself or with friends and family.  

5. Write holiday cards

When you think self care, you probably don’t think about writing a card for someone else.  The great part about writing holiday cards is that you can take time to express your gratitude for the people around you.  Gratitude is also so beneficial to your well-being that acknowledging it can very well boost your mood.

There’s nothing better than receiving a meaningful and thoughtful card.

6. Make DIY gifts

Most DIY projects are pretty easy and cheap to do, making DIY gifts is no different.  

Pinterest is the perfect place to find easy to make gifts that can suit anyone.  Similar to writing holiday cards, DIY gifts can also be used to help remind yourself of the gratitude you have for the receiver.

7. Sit by the fireplace

When it is cold outside the perfect place to be is curled up in a blanket nice and warm.  Now not everyone has a fireplace to sit by but there are lots of videos of them if you’re looking for the whole experience.  Otherwise just snuggling up in a blanket and relaxing can do.

8. Make hot chocolate and cookies

What’s the best thing on a cold winter afternoon? A hot drink of course!

Not only is it nice to slow down and sip a hot chocolate but homemade cookies are also great.  Self care is the best when it’s slow and intention and not to mention delicious.

Winter self care can be extra important because the holidays can take a lot out of you.  The holidays are always really busy, from running around to get gifts, to making the feasts, it is important to slow down and take care of yourself.  Use self care to recharge and feel better.

What’s your favorite way to take care of yourself during the holidays?  I know I definitely love to curl up in a huge blanket with a good book when its cold outside.  Plus a huge blanket means room to share and I have a dog who will gladly snuggle up with me!

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Shower Meditation How to - Easy Visualization Technique to Clean your Mind and Body

Normally when you think of meditation you probably don’t think about doing it in the shower. Interestingly enough, meditation can be very versatile. You can practice meditation techniques throughout the day and in most activities. Meditation helps to calm and center the mind and this shower meditation is no different.

When worries and upset builds it can sometimes be difficult to let the negative feelings go. This shower meditation is designed to help you wash away stress and discomfort through the act of visualization. There are many different types of meditation to choose from and getting started with meditation is really easy.

So, let’s jump on in!

Surprisingly enough this shower meditation doesn’t start in the shower. It starts in the bathroom before you’ve removed your clothes.

Start by taking a deep breath and grounding into the moment.

As you remove your clothes imagine yourself peeling off your outer shell. Feel into your vulnerability.

Turn the water on and as you wait for it to become warm, listen to the sound it makes, feel the air around you start changing, and take another deep breath. Feel the air fill your lungs fully and on your exhale feel yourself loosen up and begin to let go.

Now that the water is warm, step into it. Acknowledge the feeling of it hitting your body and washing away.

From here, keeping your eyes closed can help you to focus more on the act of cleansing yourself. You don’t need to keep your eyes closed the whole time if that is uncomfortable but when you can try to close them.

Feel the warm water wash over you and imagine it softening your entire body.

Begin to wet your hair, feeling the water now running down the length of your body. As you continue to shampoo and condition your hair, imagine yourself washing all your thoughts and letting them run down the drain and out of your mind.

With your mind empty and your hair clean grab your body wash or soap to begin cleansing your body. Take another deep breath and notice the smell of the soap in your hand. Starting with your face and neck, gently wash. Imagine that every time you touch your body to the soap that some of your stresses wash away. Continuing down your shoulders and arms, all while letting go of any emotions or worries that arise. Let the soap act as a buffer between you and your negative thoughts.

Move down your torso and back and take note of your posture, finding a place that your body feels comfortable. A lot of people hold stress in their back and not only can you help that by visualizing the stress wash away but the hot or warm water can help muscle recovery.

Again move further down your body to your hips and legs, all the while letting the stresses you wash out continue to run down the drain. Finish the cleanse by soaping all the way down to your toes. Think about the soap pushing out any last worries, before stepping directly under the water again.

Let the water run down your body one last time. Visualize a white light radiating out from your head. Feel the water as it spreads the light down to the rest of your body, illuminating you. Feel the light shining through the now clean window of your mind. Hold onto the feeling before taking three deep and long breaths.

Now you can turn off the shower and get out. Once you step out to take a moment to notice how you feel.

This kind of meditation can be really good if you have a busy schedule and feel like you can’t fit anything else in, or you are just looking to find more moments in which that you can be mindful. Regardless of your situation, stresses seem to be everywhere and sometimes letting go of them can be hard.

Are you looking for a great way to make everyday awesome? My free checklist for success every day can help you do just that! Ps. Meditation might just be on the list, sign up now to receive my checklist to your inbox today!

Have you tried more unconventional methods of meditation like this? Leave me a comment telling me how your meditation went!